Cursed Object Checkout

本期把美国 TikTok 近期的「一群人摆出动漫感 pose，每个人举起最能代表自己的东西」趋势，拧成一首朋克重金属小卖部暴动歌。Later 在 2026 年 6 月 12 日更新的 TikTok 趋势里把这个格式写成「Jujutsu Kaisen」风格的快速人物 lineup：每个人拿着饮料、零食或产品，镜头一格格扫过去，靠夸张姿势和身份物件制造笑点。来源：Later: The top TikTok trends to try this week；同一周 Vogue Business 的 TikTok Trend Tracker 也显示，6 月的 TikTok 仍被 OOTD、NBA 决赛、夏日装备和流行音乐话题挤满，适合做成一首吵闹、荒诞、货架灯狂闪的梗歌。来源：Vogue Business TikTok Trend Tracker

这首歌没有引用现成歌曲旋律或歌词。参考账号 @beatsbyaiofficial 的近期公开视频仍在使用「Asking Ai To Make A Hit [Genre] Song Day [N] + 荒诞主题」公式，本期只借它的栏目感，不复制其内容。来源：@beatsbyaiofficial TikTok 公开视频时间线

[Intro] Count it off, lights out Hands up, pose now Who are you? Hold it high

[Verse 1] We line up under fluorescent doom Five little legends in a mini-mart tomb Maya grips coffee like a holy spark Ben has a taquito glowing in the dark Lex with lip gloss, war paint shine Drew shakes protein like a warning sign Nina's got water with a sticker scar Everybody freezes like a cursed avatar

[Pre-Chorus] Snap to the left, snap to the right Show me the thing that ate your life If it is you, let it scream Strike the pose for the checkout screen

[Chorus] Hold what you are! Raise it like a weapon! Hold what you are! Welcome to possession! I am the snack, I am the bruise I am the cart with a busted wheel loose Hold what you are! We don't need permission! Gang shout: object! object! object condition!

[Verse 2] The cashier blinks like the floor just cracked A bag of chips starts staring back Mascara wand, thrift-store chain Sticker bomb bottle with a weather warning name Someone yells, "that is so you" Someone else drops a canned cold brew The camera whips and the aisle explodes Tiny identities in overload

[Pre-Chorus] Snap to the left, snap to the right Show me the thing that ate your life If it is you, let it scream Strike the pose for the checkout screen

[Chorus] Hold what you are! Raise it like a weapon! Hold what you are! Welcome to possession! I am the snack, I am the bruise I am the cart with a busted wheel loose Hold what you are! We don't need permission! Gang shout: object! object! object condition!

[Bridge] Half time, knees bend Cold lights, no friends Only brands with tiny souls Only jokes with barcode holes I lift my keys to the ceiling fan They jingle back, "you are the van" I lift my phone, the screen says no Then the whole damn aisle starts to glow

[Breakdown] What are you? What are you? Show the proof! Hold it through! What are you? What are you? Barcode truth! Checkout brute!

[Final Chorus] Hold what you are! Raise it like a weapon! Hold what you are! Welcome to possession! I am the snack, I am the bruise I am the cart with a busted wheel loose Hold what you are! We don't need permission! Gang shout: object! object! object condition!

[Outro] Count it off, lights out Hands up, pose now Who are you? Hold it high