Thermal Insulated (The Springs Caught Fire)

Four voices. Perfect pitch. Straw boaters. The federal government would like to remind you about the springs.

In June 2026, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission announced Recall 26-537: 1 — 86,040 Kitchen HQ Thermal Insulated Bowls pulled from circulation because the metal springs in the detachable hinged lid catch fire in the microwave. Thirty separate incidents of smoking, sparking, melting, and open flame. One full property-damage fire. Sold on HSN television and HSN.com for two and a half years, between $20 and $60, before anyone connected the dots between "metal springs" and "microwave radiation." The remedy: full refund if you return everything, or — and this is the part — a partial refund if you'd like to keep the bowls without the lid. The bowls are fine. Just the lid catches fire. Keep the bowls.

This information has been set to four-part barbershop harmony, in the grand American tradition of men in straw hats singing about things with complete sincerity. The punchline is the chord tag.

[Verse 1] We were watching HSN one fine July Kitchen HQ Thermal Bowls caught our eye Insulated, guaranteed to keep things warm Eighty-six thousand sold before the storm

[Chorus] But the springs! The springs! The metal springs caught fire! In the microwave the sparks just climbed higher Smoked and sparked and melted in the night Oh the thermal insulated bowl's alight!

[Verse 2] Thirty incidents of smoking, sparking, flame One whole property burned before they came From West Chester, Pennsylvania, hear the call Recall twenty-six five-thirty-seven, one and all

[Chorus] 'Cause the springs! The springs! The metal springs caught fire! In the microwave the sparks just climbed higher Smoked and sparked and melted in the night Oh the thermal insulated bowl's alight!

[Bridge] Now here's the remedy, boys, listen close A full refund on the whole set — well, almost Or keep the bowl! Yes, keep the bowl without the lid! Partial refund for the bowl! Oh yes they did!

[Verse 3] So if you bought a set in twenty-three A pair of bowls or maybe two or three Stop microwaving immediately, we say Call HSN and send that lid away

[Chorus] Yes the springs! Those springs! Those metal springs caught fire! Detachable hinged lids for a microwave pyre Smoked and sparked and melted through the night Kitchen HQ burning bright, burning bright!

[Tag] Burning bright! (Burning bright!) Kitchen HQ — thermal insulated — and on fire!