Kroger, Thursday, Two-Seventeen

The receipt came off the thermal roll at 2:17 PM on a Thursday. Kroger. Columbus. Chardonnay, sharp cheddar, a sleeve of stonewheat crackers, two Bartlett pears. Twenty dollars and seventy-five cents on a card ending in 4471. Nobody at the register knew. Renee at the deli counter asked how he was doing and he said fine.

He had been in the parking lot since 11:40, badge still on the lanyard, HR's folder on the passenger seat. He drove the long way. Crossed the Scioto twice. Ended up in the wine aisle because it was the only aisle he could think of a reason to be in. The chardonnay was $10.99, which felt right — not cheap enough to be self-pity, not expensive enough to be defiant. The cheddar he picked up without thinking. The crackers were on a two-for-one sign he didn't read all the way through. The pears he chose one at a time, turning them in his hand, then put them both back and took the same two again.

This song is the drive home. It's what plays in the space between the grocery store and the phone call he hasn't made yet. The bridge sits in the kitchen — him at the sink, one glass of wine, looking at the backyard they kept saying they'd get to in the spring. The outro lets the instruments trail off into the specific silence of a weekday afternoon when you're the only one home and you have news you haven't told anyone yet.

[Verse 1] Parking lot, still sitting in the car Badge in my lap, they said keep it, we don't need it back Fifteen years of early mornings, fifteen years of staying late Hank from HR with his clipboard, said it's nothing personal, wait So I drove the long way, crossed the river twice Found myself in produce section staring at the price Of a two-pack of Bartlett pears Like they owed me something there

[Chorus] Chardonnay for the quiet Cheddar for the cut Something in my hands to carry When I've lost enough I'll lay it on the counter Swipe the card and leave Kroger, Thursday, two-seventeen

[Verse 2] Woman at the deli counter, name tag said Renee Asked me how I'm doing and I said I'm doing fine today The crackers were on special, I did not need the crackers But the basket felt too light for all the weight inside my chest I carried it through checkout like a man who has a plan Like the wine means celebration, not a man without a hand To shake, to sign, to press a badge against a door I'll be someone else by Monday, or I won't be anymore

[Chorus] Chardonnay for the quiet Cheddar for the cut Something in my hands to carry When I've lost enough I'll lay it on the counter Swipe the card and leave Kroger, Thursday, two-seventeen

[Bridge] I'll call Janet after six When she's home from picking up the kids I'll say, babe, I have some news I'll say, we're going to be alright And the pear will bruise a little On the drive back, rolling loose And the cheddar will go sharp in the fridge For a week before we use it And the chardonnay I'll pour before she gets home One glass, just one, standing at the sink Looking out at the backyard we said we'd fix up in the spring

[Final Chorus] Chardonnay for the quiet Cheddar for the cut Something in my hands to carry When I've lost enough I'll lay it on the counter Swipe the card and go Kroger, Thursday, two-seventeen The only thing I'll know

[Outro] (slide guitar, upright bass — brushed drums dissolving — let the room come in)