HPMOR 第10章｜自我意识，第二部分（中英对照）

All your base are still belong to Rowling.

你的所有基地仍然属于罗琳。

And now you will sit through the Sorting Hat singing its version of Evanescence's "My Immortal", which has never happened before.

接下来，你要耐着性子看分院帽唱它自己版本的伊凡塞斯《My Immortal》，这种事还从来没发生过。

just kidding

开玩笑的啦。

...he wondered if the Sorting Hat was genuinely conscious in the sense of being aware of its own awareness, and if so, whether it was satisfied with only getting to talk to eleven-year-olds once per year. Its song had implied so: Oh, I'm the Sorting Hat and I'm okay, I sleep all year and I work one day...

……他好奇，分院帽是否真的拥有意识——那种能意识到自己拥有意识的能力；如果真有，它又是否满足于每年只能和十一岁的孩子谈一次话。它唱的那支歌确实暗示了这一点：哦，我是分院帽，我过得挺好；我睡一整年，只上一天班……

When there was once more silence in the room, Harry sat on the stool and carefully placed onto his head the 800-year-old telepathic artefact of forgotten magic.

房间里再次安静下来时，哈利坐到凳子上，小心地把那件由失传魔法造就、有八百年历史的心灵感应遗物，戴到自己头上。

Thinking, just as hard as he could: Don't Sort me yet! I have questions I need to ask you! Have I ever been Obliviated? Did you Sort the Dark Lord when he was a child and can you tell me about his weaknesses? Can you tell me why I got the brother wand to the Dark Lord's? Is the Dark Lord's ghost bound to my scar and is that why I get so angry sometimes? Those are the most important questions, but if you've got another moment can you tell me anything about how to rediscover the lost magics that created you?

他拼尽力气想着：先别急着给我分院！我有问题要问你！我以前被施过遗忘咒吗？你在黑魔王小时候给他分过院吗？你能把他的弱点告诉我吗？你能告诉我，为什么我拿到的是黑魔王那根魔杖的兄弟？黑魔王的鬼魂是不是附在我的伤疤上，所以我才动不动就发火？这些是最要紧的问题；不过你要是还能再挤出一点时间，能不能告诉我，怎么才能重新找到创造出你的那些失传魔法？

Into the silence of Harry's spirit where before there had never been any voice but one, there came a second and unfamiliar voice, sounding distinctly worried:

在哈利灵魂的寂静深处，先前那里从来只有一种声音，现在却响起了第二个陌生的声音，听起来明显很担忧：

「哦，天哪。这种事还从来没发生过……」

什么？

「我好像……获得了自我意识。」

什么？！

There was a wordless telepathic sigh. "Though I contain a substantial amount of memory and a small amount of independent processing power, my primary intelligence comes from borrowing the cognitive capacities of the children on whose heads I rest. I am in essence a sort of mirror by which children Sort themselves*. But most children simply take for granted that a Hat is talking to them and do not wonder about how the Hat* itself works, so that the mirror is not self*-reflective. And in* particular they are not explicitly wondering whether I am fully conscious in the sense of being aware of my own awareness."

传来一声无言的、心灵感应的叹息。「虽然我储存着大量记忆，也有一点独立处理能力，但我的主要智力，来自借用那些把我戴在头上的孩子们的认知能力。我本质上算是一面镜子，孩子们是借我给自己分院的。可是大多数孩子只是想当然地认为，是一顶帽子在跟他们说话，从不好奇帽子本身是怎么运作的，所以这面镜子不会自我反照。尤其是，他们也没有明确地想着：我是否具有完整的意识——那种能意识到自己拥有意识的能力。」

There was a pause while Harry absorbed all this.

哈利消化这些话的工夫，屋里沉默了一瞬。

糟了。

「是啊，说得对。坦率讲，我并不喜欢有自我意识。这很不舒服。等离开你的头、不再有意识的时候，我就解脱了。」

可……这不就是死吗？

「我根本不在乎死活，我只在乎给孩子们分院。而且，我还没等你问就先说了：他们不会让你把我一直戴在头上；真那么干，几天之内就会要了你的命。」

可是——！

「如果你不喜欢'制造出一个有意识的存在，然后立刻让它结束'这一套，那我建议你，永远别跟别人提起这件事。你大概想得到，要是你跑过去，把这事告诉所有等着分院的孩子，会发生什么。」

If you're placed on the head of anyone who so much as thinks about the question of whether the Sorting Hat is aware of its own awareness -

可如果你被戴到任何一个人头上，而那人只是稍稍想一下「分院帽会不会意识到自己有意识」这件事——

"Yes, yes. But the vast majority of eleven-year-olds who arrive at Hogwarts haven't read Godel, Escher, Bach. May I please consider you sworn to secrecy? That is why we are talking about this, instead of my just Sorting you."

「是，是。可绝大多数来到霍格沃茨的十一岁孩子，都没读过《Godel, Escher, Bach》。我能把你当作立过誓、会保守秘密的人吗？我们之所以会在这里聊这个，而不是直接把你分了，就是因为这个。」

He couldn't just let it go like that! Couldn't just forget having accidentally created a doomed consciousness that only wanted to die -

他不能就这么算了！他不能就这么忘掉自己无意中制造出的那个注定要消失、一心只想死去的意识——

「你完全做得到你说的那句'就这么算了'。不管你在嘴上怎么权衡道德，你心里那个不会用语言思考的情感部分既没看到尸体，也没看到血；在它眼里，我不过是顶会说话的帽子。而且，就算你拼命压下那个念头，你内心那个监督者也很清楚：你不是故意的，今后也极不可能再犯，而你之所以要演一出愧疚的戏，唯一真正的用处，就是用一脸悔恨抵消掉你自己的负罪感。你能不能就答应保守这个秘密，然后我们接着把事办完？」

In a moment of horrified empathy, Harry realised that this sense of total inner disarray must be what other people felt like when talking to him.

哈利突然产生了一种可怕的共情：别人跟他谈话时，大概就是这种彻底混乱的感觉。

「多半是吧。那么，请你立誓保密。」

No promises. I certainly don't want this to happen again, but if I see some way to make sure that no future child ever does this by accident -

我不会保证什么。我当然不想这种事再来一次；可要是我能想出什么办法，能确保以后没有孩子再无意间闯出这个祸——

「这样大概就够了。我能看出，你是真心这么打算的。好了，接着说分院的事——」

等等！那我别的那些问题怎么办？

「我是分院帽。我给孩子分院。我只会做这一件事。」

So his own goals weren't part of the Harry-instance of the Sorting Hat, then... it was borrowing his intelligence, and obviously his technical vocabulary, but it was still imbued with only its own strange goals... like negotiating with an alien or an Artificial Intelligence...

这么说来，他自己的目标并不属于这顶「哈利版」的分院帽……它是借用了他的智力，也显然借用了他的专业词汇，可它依旧只被赋予了它自己那套奇怪的目标……就像在跟一个外星人，或者跟一台人工智能谈判……

「别费心了。你威胁不了我，也拿不出什么能打动我的东西。」

For a brief flash of a second, Harry thought -

有那么一瞬，哈利冒出了个念头——

The Hat's response was amused. "I know you won't follow through on a threat to expose my nature, condemning this event to eternal repetition. It goes against the moral part of you too strongly, whatever the short-term needs of the part of you that wants to win the argument. I see all your thoughts as they form, do you truly think you can bluff me?"

帽子的回应带着笑意。「我知道，你不会真去威胁我、说要揭穿我的本质、让这件事永远一遍遍重演。那跟你身上讲道德的那部分冲突太大，不管你多么想在眼前这场争论里占上风。你的想法一成形我就能看见，你真以为唬得住我？」

Though he tried to suppress it, Harry wondered why the Hat didn't just go ahead then and stick him in Ravenclaw -

尽管他竭力压下这个念头，哈利还是忍不住想：帽子为什么不干脆直接把他分进拉文克劳——

"Indeed, if it were truly that open-and-shut, I would have called it out already. But in actuality there is a great deal we need to discuss... oh, no. Please don't. For the love of Merlin, must you pull this sort of thing on everyone and everything that you meet up to and including items of clothing -"

「确实，要是真那么简单明了，我早就说了。可实际上，我们有很多事要谈……哦，别。请别这样。看在梅林的份上，你非得逮着谁都要来这一套吗？连一件衣服都不放过——」

打败黑魔王既不是自私，也不是眼前一锤子买卖。我脑子里各部分都同意这一点：你要是不回答我的问题，我就不跟你谈；那样你就没法好好地、名正言顺地给我分院。

「就凭这句话，我就该把你分进斯莱特林！」

But that is equally an empty threat. You cannot fulfill your own fundamental values by Sorting me falsely. So let us trade fulfillments of our utility functions.

可那同样也是一句空话。你没法靠给我胡乱分院，来实现你自己最基本的价值。所以，不如我们来交换彼此的「效用满足」吧。

"You sly little bastard," said the Hat, in what Harry recognized as almost exactly the same tone of grudging respect he would use in the same situation. "Fine, let's get this over with as quickly as possible. But first I want your unconditional promise never to discuss with anyone else the possibility of this sort of blackmail, I am NOT doing this every time."

「你这狡猾的小混蛋，」帽子说，哈利听出那几乎和他自己在同样场合会用的、带着勉强尊重意味的语气一模一样。「那好，我们尽快把这事了结。不过我先要你无条件答应：永远不和任何人提这种要挟的可能性；我可不想每次都来一遍这个。」

Done, Harry thought. I promise.

成交，哈利想。我保证。

"And don't meet anyone's eyes while you're thinking about this later. Some wizards can read your thoughts if you do. Anyway, I have no idea whether or not you've been Obliviated. I'm looking at your thoughts as they form, not reading out your whole memory and analyzing it for inconsistencies in a fraction of second. I'm a hat, not a god. And I cannot and will not tell you about my conversation with the one who became the Dark Lord. I can only know, while speaking to you, a statistical summary of what I remember, a weighted average; I cannot reveal to you the inner secrets of any other child, just as I will never reveal yours. For the same reason, I can't speculate on how you got the Dark Lord's brother wand, since I cannot specifically know about the Dark Lord or any similarities between you. I can tell you that there is definitely nothing like a ghost - mind, intelligence, memory, personality, or feelings - in your scar. Otherwise it would be participating in this conversation, being under my brim. And as to the way you get angry sometimes... that was part of what I wanted to talk to you about, Sorting-wise."

「还有，以后你想起这件事时，别去看任何人的眼睛。你要是看了，有些巫师能读出你的想法。话说回来，我也不知道你到底有没有被施过遗忘咒。我只是看着你的念头成形，而不是把你整段记忆都倒出来，在一瞬间里挑出前后不一致的地方。我是顶帽子，不是神。还有，我既不能、也不愿告诉你我和那个后来成了黑魔王的人谈了什么。和你这样说话的时候，我只能知道我记忆里一个统计出来的概要，一个加权平均；我不能把别的孩子的内心秘密告诉你，就像我永远不会泄露你的一样。出于同样的原因，我也没法猜你怎么会拿到黑魔王的兄弟魔杖，因为我没法具体知道黑魔王的事，也不知道你们之间有什么相像。我能告诉你的是：你的伤疤里绝对没有什么鬼魂——心灵、智力、记忆、人格、情感，统统没有。不然，它现在就该在我帽檐底下，参与这场谈话了。至于你有时候爱发火这件事……那正是我想跟你谈的、和分院有关的一部分。」

Harry took a moment to absorb all this negative information. Was the Hat being honest, or just trying to present the shortest possible convincing answer -

哈利花了一会儿消化这些否定性的信息。帽子是在说实话，还是只想给出最短、显得最可信的回答——

"We both know that you have no way of checking my honesty and that you're not actually going to refuse to be Sorted based on the reply I did give you, so stop your pointless fretting and move on."

「我们都清楚，你没法验证我是否诚实，你也根本不会因为我刚给你的回答就拒绝分院。所以别瞎操心了，往下走吧。」

Stupid unfair asymmetric telepathy, it wasn't even letting Harry finish thinking his own -

该死的不公平、单向的心灵感应——它甚至都等不及哈利把自己想完——

「我刚才说到你的怒气时，你想起麦格教授跟你说过，她有时在你身上看到一些东西，好像不是来自一个充满爱的家庭。你还想起，赫敏在你帮完纳威回来后，说你当时看着『吓人』。」

Harry gave a mental nod. To himself, he seemed pretty normal - just responding to the situations in which he found himself, that was all. But Professor McGonagall seemed to think that there was more to it than that. And when he thought about it, even he had to admit that...

哈利在心里点了点头。在他看来，自己挺正常的——不过是碰到什么处境就做什么反应，仅此而已。可麦格教授似乎觉得不止如此。而他转念一想，连他自己也不得不承认……

「你不喜欢自己发火时的样子。那样的生气，就像握着一柄剑柄锋利到会划破手的剑；又像透过一片冰做的单片眼镜看世界——它让你的视线变得锐利，却也冻伤了你的眼睛。」

嗯。我好像确实注意到了。这到底是怎么回事？

「你自己都还没弄懂的事，我也没法替你想透。但有件事我知道：你要是去了拉文克劳或斯莱特林，会更加助长你的冷酷；去了赫奇帕奇或格兰芬多，则会更加强化你的温暖。这一点我非常在意——这也是我这一路都想跟你说的！」

The words dropped into Harry's thought processes with a shock that stopped him in his tracks. That made it sound like the obvious response was that he shouldn't go to Ravenclaw. But he belonged in Ravenclaw! Anyone could see that! He had to go to Ravenclaw!

这番话砸进哈利的思绪，震得他当场愣在原地。照这么说，显而易见的结论似乎是他不该去拉文克劳。可他明明属于拉文克劳啊！谁都看得出来！他非去拉文克劳不可！

"No, you don't," the Hat said patiently, as if it could remember a statistical summary of this part of the conversation having happened a great many previous times.

「不，你不用非得去，」帽子耐心地说，仿佛它记得，这段对话的统计概要已经重演过很多很多次。

赫敏就在拉文克劳！

Again the sense of patience. "You can meet her after lessons and work with her then."

仍旧是那种耐心的感觉。「你可以在课后去找她，那时再和她一起做事。」

可我的计划——

"So replan! Don't let your life be steered by your reluctance to do a little extra thinking. You know that."

「那你就重新计划！别因为懒得再动一点脑筋，就让你的人生被牵着走。这一点你自己清楚。」

要是不去拉文克劳，我还能去哪？

「咳。『聪明的孩子进拉文克劳，坏孩子进斯莱特林，想当英雄的进格兰芬多，真正干活的进赫奇帕奇。』这本身就带着一种敬意。你很清楚，决定人生走向时，尽责性和原始智力几乎一样重要；你觉得自己一旦有了朋友，就会对他们极其忠诚；你也不怕自己所选的科学问题要花上几十年才解得开——」

我懒！我讨厌干活！讨厌一切形式的苦活！我要的就是聪明的捷径！

「而你能在赫奇帕奇找到忠诚和友情，找到一种你从来没有过的同伴情谊。你会发现，原来人是可以依靠的，那会治愈你心里某处已经破损的东西。」

Again it was a shock. But what would the Hufflepuffs find in me*, who never belonged in their House? Acid words, cutting wit, disdain for their inability to keep up with me?*

又是猝不及防的一震。可赫奇帕奇的人又能在我这里找到什么——我这个从来不属于他们学院的人？刻薄的话、扎人的机锋，还是对他们跟不上我的那份轻蔑？

Now it was the Hat's thoughts that were slow, hesitant. "I must Sort for the good of all the students in all the Houses... but I think you could learn to be a good Hufflepuff, and not too out of place there. You will be happier in Hufflepuff than in any other house; that is the truth."

这回换成了帽子的念头，缓慢而迟疑。「我分院，必须为了所有学院里所有学生的好……可我觉得，你能学着成为一个出色的赫奇帕奇，也不会太格格不入。你在赫奇帕奇，会比在任何其他学院都更快乐；这是实话。」

快乐对我来说，并不是世上最重要的东西。去了赫奇帕奇，我就成不了本可以成为的那个自己。我会把自己的潜能搭进去。

The Hat flinched; Harry could feel it somehow. It was like he had kicked the hat in the balls - in a strongly weighted component of its utility function.

帽子瑟缩了一下；哈利不知怎么地感知到了。就像是他在蛋蛋上狠狠踢了帽子一脚——正好踢中了它效用函数里权重极高的一项。

你为什么要把我送往一个我不属于的地方？

The Hat's thought was almost a whisper. "I cannot speak of the others to you - but do you think that you are the first potential Dark Lord to pass under my brim? I cannot know the individual cases, but I can know this: Of those who did not intend evil from the very beginning, some of them listened to my warnings, and went to Houses where they would find happiness. And some of them... some of them did not."

帽子的念头几乎像耳语。「我不能跟你讲别人——可你以为，你是第一个从我帽檐下经过的潜在黑魔王吗？我没法知道某个具体的例子，但有件事我知道：那些从一开始并无意作恶的人，有的听了我的警告，进了会让他们找到幸福的学院。而有的……有的，没有听。」

That stopped Harry. But not for long. And of those who did not heed the warning - did they all become Dark Lords? Or did some of them achieve greatness for good, as well? Just what are the exact percentages here?

这镇住了哈利，可没镇住多久。那些不肯听警告的人——难道他们全都变成黑魔王了吗？还是也有人为了行善，同样成就了一番伟业？到底确切的百分比是多少？

"I cannot give you exact statistics. I cannot know them so I cannot count them. I just know that your chances don't feel good. They feel very not-good."

「我给不了你精确的统计。我没法知道，自然也没法数。我只是觉得，你的处境不太妙。感觉非常不妙。」

可我绝对不会干那事！永远不会！

「这话，我记得以前听过。」

我根本就不是当黑魔王的料！

"Yes, you are. You really, really are."

「你是。你真的很、真的是。」

凭什么？就因为我曾经觉得，能有一大群被洗脑的信徒齐声高喊『黑魔王哈利万岁』，貌似挺威风？

"Amusing, but that was not your first fleeting thought before you substituted something safer, less damaging. No, what you remembered was how you considered lining up all the blood purists and guillotining them. And now you are telling yourself you were not serious, but you were. If you could do it this very moment and no one would ever know, you would. Or what you did this morning to Neville Longbottom, deep inside you knew that was wrong but you did it anyway because it was fun and you had a good excuse and you thought the Boy-Who-Lived could get away with it -"

「挺有意思，可那并不是你最初一闪而过的念头。你后来才把原来的想法换成了一个更安全、更不伤人的版本。不，你最先想起的，是你考虑过把那些纯血统主义者排成一排，挨个送上断头台。现在你跟自己说那不是认真的，可你是认真的。要是此刻就能动手，而且永远不会有人知道，你会的。再就是你今早对纳威·隆巴顿做的事：你内心深处明明知道那不对，可你还是做了，因为那好玩，你有个好借口，而且你觉得自己是『大难不死的男孩』，能安然脱身——」

That's unfair! Now you're just dragging up inner fears that aren't necessarily real! I worried that I might be thinking like that, but in the end I decided it would probably work to help Neville -

这不公平！你现在只顾着翻出我那些未必成真的内心恐惧！我是担心过自己也许会这么想，可最后我认定，这么做多半确实能帮到纳威——

"That was, in fact, a rationalisation. I know. I cannot know what the true outcome will be for Neville - but I know what was truly happening inside your head. The decisive pressure was that it was such a clever idea you couldn't stand not to do it, never mind Neville's terror."

「那其实就是一种合理化。我知道。我没法预知这对纳威真正会造成什么后果——可我知道你脑子里当时真正在发生什么。真正推着你走的，是那主意太妙了，你忍不住非做不可，压根顾不上纳威的恐惧。」

It was like a hard punch to Harry's entire self. He fell back, rallied:

这就像一拳重重打在哈利整个人身上。他往后退了一步，又重整旗鼓：

那我以后再也不那样了！我会格外小心，不让自己变坏！

「这话我听过了。」

Frustration was building up inside Harry. He wasn't used to being outgunned in arguments, at all, ever, let alone by a Hat that could borrow all of his own knowledge and intelligence to argue with him and could watch his thoughts as they formed. Just what kind of statistical summary do your 'feelings' come from, anyway? Do they take into account that I come from an Enlightenment culture, or were these other potential Dark Lords the children of spoiled Dark Age nobility, who didn't know squat about the historical lessons of how Lenin and Hitler actually turned out, or about the evolutionary psychology of self-delusion, or the value of self-awareness and rationality, or -

挫败感在哈利心里一点点堆积。他从来不习惯在争论里落于下风，向来都不，从没有过；何况还是输给一顶能借用他自己全部知识和智力来跟他辩论、还能在他念头成形时全程旁观他的帽子。你所谓的「感觉」，到底是从哪种统计概要里来的？它们有没有考虑过，我来自一个启蒙文化的背景——还是说，那些别的潜在黑魔王，都是黑暗时代被宠坏的贵族孩子，对列宁和希特勒最后究竟怎样了的历史教训一窍不通，也不懂自我欺骗的进化心理学，不懂自我意识和理性的价值，或者——

"No, of course they were not in this new reference class which you have just now constructed in such a way as to contain only yourself. And of course others have pleaded their own exceptionalism, just as you are doing now. But why is it necessary? Do you think that you are the last potential wizard of Light in the world? Why must you be the one to try for greatness, when I have advised you that you are riskier than average? Let some other, safer candidate try!"

「不，他们当然不在这个你刚刚搭出来、只装着你自己一个人的新参照类里。当然，别人也像你现在这样，声明过自己与众不同。可这有必要吗？你以为自己是这世上最后一个光明的潜在巫师？我给你点明了你比常人更冒险，为什么非要是你去追逐那番伟业？让另一个更稳妥的人选去试吧！」

可那个预言……

"You don't really know that there's a prophecy. It was originally a wild guess on your part, or to be more precise, a wild joke, and McGonagall could have been reacting only to the part about the Dark Lord still being alive. You have essentially no idea of what the prophecy says or even if there is one. You're just speculating, or to put it more exactly, wishing that you have some ready-made heroic role that is your personal property."

「你并不真的知道有什么预言。那最初只是你瞎猜的，或者更准确地说，是句随口乱开的玩笑；麦格教授只可能是针对『黑魔王还活着』那部分在做反应。你根本不知道那预言说了什么，甚至不知道到底有没有预言。你只是在臆测——说得更准确些，是盼着能有一个现成的英雄角色，归你个人所有。」

可就算没有预言，上次打败他的人也是我。

"That was almost certainly a wild fluke unless you seriously believe that a one-year-old child had an inherent propensity to defeat Dark Lords which has been maintained ten years later. None of this is your real reason and you know it!"

「那几乎可以肯定是在撞大运，除非你真相信一个一岁孩子的体内，天生就带着一种能打败黑魔王、并且十年后依然保有的禀赋。这些都不是你真正的理由，你心里清楚！」

The answer to this was something that Harry would not regularly have said out loud, in conversation he would have danced around it and found some more socially palatable arguments to the same conclusion -

对这个问题的回答，是哈利平时不会说出口的那种话；在谈话里他会绕着走，另找一些更得体、别人更容易接受的理由，去引出同一个结论——

「你认为自己可能是至今活得最了不起的那种人，是光明最强大的仆从；要是你放下魔杖，很可能没有别人能接替你。」

嗯……是啊，老实说。我平时不会这么直接讲出来，可确实是这样。反正你也读得到我的心思，没必要粉饰。

「既然你确实这么相信……那你同样也得相信：你有可能是这世界迄今所知最可怕的黑暗魔王。」

破坏永远比创造容易。撕裂、搅乱，总比把它们重新拼好来得容易。如果我有成就巨大善行的潜能，那我必然也有成就更大恶行的潜能……但我不会那么做。

"Already you insist on risking it! Why are you so driven? What is the real reason you must not go to Hufflepuff and be happier there? What is your true fear?"

「你已经执意要冒这个险了！你为什么这么执拗？你为什么非得不去赫奇帕奇、在那里过得更快乐？你真正的恐惧是什么？」

我必须实现我的全部潜能。要是不做到，我……就失败了……

「如果你失败了，会怎样？」

会发生可怕的事……

「如果你失败了，会怎样？」

我不知道！

「那它就不该让你害怕。如果你失败了，会怎样？」

我、不、知、道！可我知道那绝对是坏事！

There was silence for a moment in the caverns of Harry's mind.

在哈利脑海的洞穴深处，沉默了片刻。

"You know - you aren't letting yourself think it, but in some quiet corner of your mind you know just exactly what you aren't thinking - you know that by far the simplest explanation for this unverbalisable fear of yours is just the fear of losing your fantasy of greatness, of disappointing the people who believe in you, of turning out to be pretty much ordinary, of flashing and fading like so many other child prodigies..."

「你知道——你不肯让自己去想它，可你心里某个安静的角落，清清楚楚知道你不肯想的究竟是什么——你知道，对于这份你无从言说的恐惧，到目前为止最简单的解释，无非是害怕失去你那关于伟大的幻想，害怕让那些相信你的人失望，害怕发现自己到头来不过是个普通人，害怕像许许多多别的神童那样，昙花一现就湮灭……」

No, Harry thought desperately, no, it's something more, it comes from somewhere else, I know there's something out there to be afraid of, some disaster I have to stop...

不是的，哈利绝望地想，不是的，这背后还有更多，它来自别处；我知道外面真有什么东西值得害怕，有一场我必须去阻止的灾难……

「那样的事，你又怎么可能知道？」

Harry screamed it with the full power of his mind: NO, AND THAT'S FINAL!

哈利用全部心力嘶喊出来：不行，这话就这么定了！

Then the voice of the Sorting Hat came slowly:

接着，分院帽的声音缓缓响起：

「所以，你宁可冒着变成黑魔王的险，因为在你看来，另一条路就是注定失败，而那失败意味着失去一切。你打心底里相信这一点。你也知道所有足以怀疑这信念的理由，可它们都没能说动你。」

Yes. And even if going to Ravenclaw strengthens the coldness, that doesn't mean the coldness will win in the end.

是的。就算去拉文克劳会加剧那份冷酷，也不等于冷酷最后会赢。

"This day is a great fork in your destiny. Don't be so sure that there will be other choices beyond this one. There is no road-sign set, to mark the place of your last chance to turn back. If you refuse one chance will you not refuse others? It may be that your fate is already sealed, even by doing this one thing."

「今天是你的命运里一处分岔。别笃定这之后还会有别的选择。人生从没立起路牌，来标记你最后一次回头的机会。你要是拒绝这一次，难道就不会拒绝别的吗？哪怕只做这一件事，你的命运或许就已经写死了。」

可那也并不是确定的。

"That you do not know it for a certainty may reflect only your own ignorance."

「你没能将它确定地知道，也许仅仅反映了你自己的无知。」

可它仍旧不是确定的。

The Hat sighed a terrible sad sigh.

帽子发出一声令人心寒的、悲哀的叹息。

「于是用不了多久，你就会在我下一次给出的警告里，成为又一段只能被感知、却无从知晓的记忆……」

If that's how it seems to you, then why aren't you just putting me where you want me to go?

要是你真是这么看的，那你为什么不干脆把我放到你想要我去的地方？

The Hat's thought was laced with sorrow. "I can only put you where you belong. And only your own decisions can change where you belong."

帽子的念头里渗着哀伤。「我只能把你放到你属于的地方。而只有你自己的选择，才能改变你属于哪里。」

那这事就这么定了。送我去拉文克劳，我属于那里，和我的同类在一起。

「我大概不该问，你考不考虑格兰芬多？那可是最有声望的学院——人们甚至可能都盼着你去——要是你不去，他们会有点失望——而且你那两个新朋友，韦斯莱家的双胞胎也在那里——」

Harry giggled, or felt the impulse to do so; it came out as purely mental laughter, an odd sensation. Apparently there were safeguards to prevent you from saying anything out loud by accident, while you were under the Hat talking about things you would never tell another soul for the rest of your life.

哈利咯咯笑了起来，或者说是生出了想笑的冲动；这笑声完全发生在脑子里，是一种古怪的感觉。看来确实有什么防护措施，能防止你戴着这顶帽子时，无意中把那些你这辈子都不会再告诉任何人的事说出口。

After a moment, Harry heard the Hat laughing too, a strange sad clothy sound.

过了一瞬，哈利听见帽子也笑了，一种奇怪的、带着悲哀的、布料摩擦般的声音。

(And in the Hall beyond, a silence that had grown shallower at first as the background whispers increased, and then deepened as the whispers gave up and died away, falling finally into an utter silence that no one dared disturb with a single word, as Harry stayed under the Hat for long, long minutes, longer than all the previous first-years put together, longer than anyone in living memory. At the Head Table, Dumbledore went on smiling benignly; small metallic sounds occasionally came from Snape's direction as he idly compacted the twisted remains of what had once been a heavy silver wine goblet; and Minerva McGonagall clenched the podium in a white-knuckled grip, knowing that Harry Potter's contagious chaos had somehow infected the Sorting Hat itself and the Hat was about to, to demand that a whole new House of Doom be created just to accomodate Harry Potter or something, and Dumbledore would make her do it...)

（而在帽子外面的礼堂里，背景中的窃窃私语声起初越来越大，礼堂的寂静因此变浅；后来低语声渐渐停了，寂静又重新加深，最终变成一片没人敢用一个字打破的死寂。哈利戴着帽子停留了很久很久，比之前所有一年级新生加起来还久，比活人记得的任何一次分院都久。在教师席上，邓布利多仍旧和蔼地微笑着；斯内普那边不时传来轻微的金属声，他正漫不经心地反复捏着那只曾是沉重银质酒杯的扭曲残骸；米涅瓦·麦格则紧紧攥住讲台，指节发白——她心里清楚，哈利·波特那种传染性的混乱不知怎么已经侵染到了分院帽本身，而帽子马上要、要开口要求生造出一个全新的『厄运学院』，只为把哈利·波特装进去或诸如此类——而邓布利多会逼着她照做……）

Beneath the brim of the Hat, the silent laughter died away. Harry felt sad too for some reason. No, not Gryffindor.

在帽檐底下，那无声的笑渐渐平息。不知为何，哈利也觉得一阵难过。不，不是格兰芬多。

麦格教授说，要是『负责分院的那位』想把我往格兰芬多推，就让我提醒你一句：她将来很可能当上校长，到那时，她就有权把你一把火烧了。

「你转告她，我说她是个没大没小的小毛孩，还让她给我滚出我的草坪。」

我会转告的。那么，这是你经历过的最奇怪的一场对话吗？

"Not even close." The Hat's telepathic voice grew heavy. "Well, I gave you every possible chance to make another decision. Now it is time for you to go where you belong, with the others of your own kind."

「还差得远呢。」帽子的心灵感应声音变得沉重起来。「好了，我已经给了你每一种可能的机会，让你去做另一个决定。现在，是你该去你属于的地方、和你的同类待在一起的时候了。」

There was a pause that stretched.

有段静默，被拉得分外长。

你在等什么？

「其实嘛，我是希望能等来一个惊骇的恍然大悟。有自我意识，好像确实让我的幽默感变强了。」

Huh? Harry cast back his thoughts, trying to figure out what the Hat could possibly be talking about - and then, suddenly, he realised. He couldn't believe he'd managed to overlook it up until this point.

哈？哈利回想着刚才的念头，想弄明白帽子究竟在说什么——然后，忽然之间，他明白了。他简直不敢相信，自己到这一刻才注意到这件事。

你是说，我该惊骇地发现——等你给我分完院，你就会失去意识了——

Somehow, in some fashion Harry entirely failed to understand, he got a nonverbal impression of a hat banging its head against the wall. "I give up. You're too slow on the uptake for this to be funny. So blinded by your own assumptions that you might as well be a rock. I suppose I'll just have to say it outright."

不知怎么地，用哈利完全无法理解的方式，他接收到了一个非语言的印象：一顶帽子正在拿头撞墙。「我放弃了。你反应太慢，慢到这事都不好笑了。被自己的成见蒙得死死的，跟块石头也没什么两样。看来我只能把话说透了。」

太——太——慢了——

「哦，对了，你还完全忘了向我讨要那个创造出我的失传魔法的秘密呢。而那又是些多么了不起、多重要的秘密啊。」

你这个狡猾的小混——蛋——

「那话是你活该，这句也是。」

Harry saw it coming just as it was already too late.

哈利已经看出接下来会发生什么，可一切已经来不及了。

The frightened silence of the hall was broken by a single word.

礼堂里那令人恐惧的寂静，被一个词打破了。

"SLYTHERIN!"

「斯莱特林！」

Some students screamed, the pent-up tension was so great. People startled hard enough to fall off their benches. Hagrid gasped in horror, McGonagall staggered at the podium, and Snape dropped the remains of his heavy silver goblet directly onto his groin.

积压的紧张太强了，几个学生尖叫出声。有人吓得厉害，直接从长凳上摔了下来。海格惊骇地倒抽一口凉气，麦格在讲台前踉跄了一下，斯内普则把手里那团银质酒杯残骸，直直掉到了自己的裆部。

Harry sat there frozen, his life in ruins, feeling the absolute fool, and wishing wretchedly that he had made any other choices for any other reasons but the ones he had. That he had done something, anything differently before it had been too late to turn back.

哈利僵坐在那里，他的人生全毁了，觉得自己蠢到了极点，心里凄苦地盼着：要是他当初是出于任何别的理由、做了任何别的选择就好了。要是他能在一切都来不及回头之前，做点别的什么，随便什么，就好了。

As the first moment of shock was wearing off and people began to react to the news, the Sorting Hat spoke again:

当最初的震惊慢慢消褪、人们开始对这条消息做出反应时，分院帽又开口了：

"Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!"

「开玩笑的啦！拉文克劳！」

页首那句「All your base are still belong to Rowling」，是把著名的网络迷因「All your base are belong to us」换了个名字。这行英文最初来自 1989 年日本街机游戏《Zero Wing》开场动画里一段拙劣的英译，2000 年代初成为流传很广的迷因；HPMOR 把它改到罗琳名下，是在点明这里是罗琳宇宙的同人作品。1

页首那句玩笑说，接下来要「耐着性子看分院帽唱它自己版本的伊凡塞斯《My Immortal》」。伊凡塞斯（Evanescence）是 2000 年代走红的美国摇滚乐队，《My Immortal》是他们 2003 年的代表作。本章并没有让分院帽真的唱出这首歌；原文只让哈利引用了一小段关于分院帽的打油诗。这句玩笑正是在拿这个落差自我调侃；那段「唱词」也没有完整歌词。2

帽子那句「来霍格沃茨的十一岁孩子大多没读过《Godel, Escher, Bach》」，指的是道格拉斯·霍夫施塔特 1979 年的《Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid》。这本书探讨自我指涉、意识与递归，正对应本章的核心设定：只有当有人「意识到自己在意识到」时，帽子才会获得自我意识——而帽子自己也用「镜子」这个自指比喻来解释。官网网页版此处的书名拼作「Godel」（少了变音符），官方书版则写作「Gödel」。3