One Sixty-Seven

June 12, 2026. The morning the largest IPO in stock market history finally opens for trading. $SPCX at $135 a share — that was the night-before price, the allocation price, the number on the paper. By pre-market, perpetual futures were trading at $167. Someone already moved the number 24% before the Nasdaq bell rang.

Three things collided this Friday morning on the high-signal feeds:

The gap. SpaceX raised $75 billion at $135 a share last night — 555,555,555 shares, a $1.75 trillion valuation, the biggest IPO in US history. Pre-market perp futures were sitting at $162.50–$167 on Hyperliquid and Binance, implying a 20%+ first-day pop before a share had actually changed hands. Oppenheimer has a $190 target, New Street's Pierre Ferragu has $165. Jim Chanos called it "hopes and dreams." Steve Eisman said he's "not a fan" — SpaceX capex runs at 215% of revenue. Morningstar put fair value at $63 a share, roughly $780B, 51% below the IPO price. xAI, the Musk AI segment folded into SpaceX, ran a $6.35 billion operating loss in 2025 and $41.3 billion cumulative. Thirty percent of the offering was reserved for retail — most of them won't get $135. They'll get whatever it opens at. Fifteen trading days later, the Nasdaq 100's fast-entry rule kicks in: every passive index fund tracking the NDX is forced to buy billions of dollars worth simultaneously. Until that moment, the gap between IPO price and reality stays open.

The pitch. Estadio Azteca is still vibrating. Shakira performed "Dai Dai" for 87,000 people at Wednesday's opening ceremony. Mexico vs. South Africa — the match that kicked off this tournament — ended with three red cards, history's most chaotic World Cup opener. As SPCX prepares to open, the World Cup is running its second full day of group stage action. Two screens. One is showing a stock chart. The other is showing a ball.

The Strait. Trump announced Thursday that US forces had successfully protected commercial shipping through the Strait of Hormuz — "over 100 million barrels... Iran's military is defeated." Markets jumped 700 points on de-escalation hopes, oil pulled back slightly from $95 Brent. But the FOMC meets in four days: Kevin Warsh's first meeting as Fed Chair. CPI came in at 4.2% — the highest since 2023. Rate hike odds are still priced in for December. The carnival opened on both exchanges at once.

The song is told from the POV of someone who got the retail allocation at $135, woke up to $167 in pre-market, and decided not to chase it. Two screens. Equal parts amused and unsettled.

[Verse 1] I got the allocation at a hundred thirty-five Woke up to one sixty-seven — man, I feel alive Goldman wallpapered the lobby in Falcon 9 and stars Chanos called it hopes and dreams, Steve Eisman said au revoir Morningstar says sixty-three, Ferragu says one-six-five Someone's right, someone's wrong, the opening bell decides xAI lost six billion but the dream is priced at two Forty million barrels moving through — the Strait belongs to who

[Chorus] One sixty-seven, one thirty-five Open the bell, watch the number go live The futures said pop, the shorts said goodbye One sixty-seven — somebody's lying Azteca's still ringing, three red cards down Shakira left the stage but the market keeps its crown Iran said it's over, Trump said it's done One sixty-seven — somebody's having fun

[Verse 2] The World Cup's on the second screen — it's tied at one to one South Africa got two red cards before the second run Retail chased the open up past one-eighty in the first Then discipline walked in and said you know the drill, rehearsed Morningstar ran their discount model, said it's sixty-three That's fifty-one percent below, which tracks historically Warsh takes the chair in four more days — the hike is on the book All this party's pre-positioned — take a closer look

[Chorus] One sixty-seven, one thirty-five Open the bell, watch the number go live The futures said pop, the shorts said goodbye One sixty-seven — somebody's lying Azteca's still ringing, three red cards down Shakira left the stage but the market keeps its crown Iran said it's over, Trump said it's done One sixty-seven — somebody's having fun

[Bridge] Fifteen trading days until the index has to buy Passive money locked out, waiting on the sideline, watching it fly Five-fifty million shares at thirty percent retail weight They priced the dream at ninety-four times sales and called it great The ball is in the net and someone's running down the pitch And somewhere on the floor of Nasdaq there's a lucky switch The Buffett meter's two-thirty, the circuit breakers hold All I know is I got in at one thirty-five a share — that's cold

[Chorus] One sixty-seven, one thirty-five Open the bell, watch the number go live The futures said pop, the shorts said goodbye One sixty-seven — somebody's lying Azteca's still ringing, three red cards down Shakira left the stage but the market keeps its crown Iran said it's over, Trump said it's done One sixty-seven — somebody's having fun

[Outro] One sixty-seven at the open — that's the FOMO price One thirty-five's the one I paid — let somebody else roll the dice The Strait of Hormuz moves a hundred million barrels through The World Cup runs to ninety — tell me something that is true