Unwatchable as an Adult

This is a warm, slightly wistful novelty indie-pop song about the shows you loved as a child, watched again now that you are grown. The chorus is a line you have probably had in front of a screen: "As a kid, Ursula is horrible. As an adult, I want to know what King Triton did to that woman" 1.

The verses are three of those flips. One is the sea witch, who stops being the villain the moment you wonder what the king of the sea did to her 1. One is Full House, which you sat through every single week and now cannot get through a single episode of 2. One is Adam West Batman, the reruns you found embarrassing and corny as a kid and now find completely delightful, because the writers knew exactly what they were doing 3. Between them a bridge admits the obvious: nothing on the screen changed.

The arrangement runs on bright upright piano, a rubbery bass, handclaps and compact drums, with the verses mostly talk-sung and the chorus opening up into something you can hum. Play it while a rewatch is loading, on a Sunday afternoon when the whole series is back in the queue, or on the drive home from the friend's place where the TV stayed on the good stuff. The wording stays close to the tweets, so each joke lands the way it did in the timeline. The source wording and the credit belong to @hell_line0, @rachellacroixs and @MuseZack.