Slobber Delivery Service

A rabidly cheerful groove-metal sprint about a dog that treats a nest of baby rabbits like a gift order, then arrives with slobber, fluff, and no return label.

The song starts from a widely shared X post by @kneeco__. When checked, the post showed 11,987 likes and 401,523 views. Its premise is the source joke; the lyrics below are an original comic retelling.

[Intro] One, two, three, four! WHO LET THE COURIER IN?

[Verse 1] By the old back fence, beneath the weeds I found tiny eyes and a nest of needs No box, no bow, no shipping fee Just four fast legs and a family tree I took the cargo, soft and round And marched those little passengers downtown Tail going wild, head held high A mouthwash nightmare under the sky

[Pre-Chorus] I don't need a truck I don't need a van I got four legs And a master plan

[Chorus] SLOBBER DELIVERY SERVICE! YOUR FREE-RANGE PRESENT HAS ARRIVED! SLOBBER DELIVERY SERVICE! NO RECEIPT, BUT THE PACKAGE IS ALIVE! No tape, no tag, no tracking light Just rabbit fluff in the porch-light white SLOBBER DELIVERY SERVICE! I brought you something cute tonight!

[Verse 2] The humans shout, I hear applause Tiny feet and a dripping cause I set them down like royalty Then shake the evidence on the rug for free Doorstep courier, canine king No customs form for a living thing The nest was empty, my heart was full I did what any good dog would do

[Pre-Chorus] I don't need a truck I don't need a van I got four legs And a master plan

[Chorus] SLOBBER DELIVERY SERVICE! YOUR FREE-RANGE PRESENT HAS ARRIVED! SLOBBER DELIVERY SERVICE! NO RECEIPT, BUT THE PACKAGE IS ALIVE! No tape, no tag, no tracking light Just rabbit fluff in the porch-light white SLOBBER DELIVERY SERVICE! I brought you something cute tonight!

[Breakdown] DROP THE BUN! WHERE? ON THE FLOOR! LICK! LICK! LICK! DELIVERY COMPLETE! DROP THE BUN! WHERE? BY THE DOOR! WHO NEEDS A GIFT SHOP? I'M THE GIFT SHOP!

[Bridge] The nest was not a gift shop The yard was not a mall But I saw a family getting smaller And I answered the call No bad intent in the velvet bite Just dog logic under porch light If love is measured by the mess you make Then sign my name on every mistake

[Final Chorus] SLOBBER DELIVERY SERVICE! YOUR FREE-RANGE PRESENT HAS ARRIVED! SLOBBER DELIVERY SERVICE! I LICKED THE LABEL, NOW IT'S VERIFIED! No tape, no tag, no tracking light Just rabbit fluff and a tail held high SLOBBER DELIVERY SERVICE! ONE MORE BUN FOR THE HUMAN TONIGHT!

[Outro] Return to sender? I don't know that phrase. SLOBBER DELIVERY! ALL THE WAY!