The Unwilling Audience
Your manager is sitting two seats away, talking quietly to a coworker about how difficult you are to work with. You can hear every word. The content is not entirely wrong, which somehow makes the whole thing worse.
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The Unwilling Audience
Episode guide
Your manager is discussing your shortcomings with a coworker two seats away, and you can hear every word. This episode shows how to separate useful criticism from an unprofessional delivery choice, then bring the conversation back to a direct and private feedback channel.
The case behind the advice
A recent Ask a Manager letter described an employee in an open-plan office who could hear a manager discussing her performance with a favored coworker. The manager spoke quietly, but not quietly enough: the employee could still hear the conversation clearly. The reported criticism included legitimate concerns, such as the employee sometimes misunderstanding directions. 1
The useful distinction is simple: accurate feedback still belongs in a direct conversation with the person receiving it. A manager can have a real performance concern and still show poor judgment by making an employee an unwilling audience to that concern.
The move
Name the practical fact first. In a private one-on-one, explain that you can hear the conversations clearly and that some of them sound private. This gives the manager a concrete correction to make without requiring you to guess at intent or defend your entire career.
If the manager turns the conversation into a performance review, ask for the concerns directly, with specific examples and a chance to respond. You can remain coachable without accepting a setup that turns your desk into the audience for your own review.
Three lines to keep
“I wanted to flag something practical. When you and Cecil talk at that desk, I can hear the conversation clearly.”“If there is feedback about my work, I would rather discuss it with you directly, with specific examples.”“I am not disputing that there may be work I need to improve. I am asking that those concerns be handled in a private conversation with me.”
The first line names the acoustics. The second line claims a professional route for feedback. The third line separates being coachable from accepting an unprofessional delivery choice.
Your manager’s opinion of your work may be information. Your manager’s decision to broadcast that opinion within earshot is a separate judgment call.
References
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