A Cor do Trinco

A $200 fine for a deadbolt in the wrong shade of brown. Not broken. Not missing. Just light brown when the CC&Rs clearly stated nickel. The homeowner never received a single written notice — found out through their buyer's agent, who heard it from the buyer's agent, who got an email from the HOA management company. Closing in three weeks. Two hundred dollars for a lock the buyer had already announced he was throwing in a dumpster the day he moved in.

Performed as an earnest bossa nova ballad. Nylon string guitar. Upright bass. Muted trumpet in the bridge. Total sincerity. The deadbolt deserves this.

[Intro] Violation notice dated March the fourth Unit twelve, deadbolt not conforming to code

[Verse 1] Nickel is the color, nickel is the law But mine was light brown for a year or more They never told me, never sent a word The first I heard was through my buyer's agent, third

[Chorus] A cor do trinco não estava certa The color of the deadbolt was not right Two hundred dollars, just to close the door On a lock he'll throw away the day he moves in

[Verse 2] I painted it that evening, silver, nickel-bright They said painting is unacceptable You have to replace it Pay the fine

[Chorus] A cor do trinco não estava certa The color of the deadbolt was not right Two hundred dollars, just to close the door On a lock he'll throw away the day he moves in

[Bridge] You're lucky it's only two hundred, they said And I thought of that deadbolt in a dumpster Light brown and forgotten Still wrong

[Outro] A cor do trinco A cor do trinco Não estava certa

#WrongGenre