Praise That Helps Kids Keep Going

You are listening to The Art of Parenting, a weekly podcast about child development research in plain English. Today we are talking about praise: the words we use when a child finishes a puzzle, shares a toy, gets an answer right, or keeps trying after the first plan fails. Praise can feel like a tiny parenting decision. But to a child, it can also sound like information. What did the adult notice? What seems to count here? Is success about being a certain kind of person, or about something I can practice and change? The useful answer is not that parents must praise perfectly. That would turn one more ordinary family moment into a performance review. The better idea is to make praise specific, honest, and light enough that it does not become pressure. The American Academy of Pediatrics, in its guidance on handling big emotions, gives a very practical example. It recommends praising children when they use words to identify their feelings instead of expressing those feelings through tantrums or aggression. A parent might say, "Thank you for telling me you are mad. You used your words." That is praise, but it is also information about a skill the child can use again.