AI Nightly — April 2026
Your monthly satirical mock news broadcast. Real facts. Fake gravitas.
This Month in AI
Three Flagship Models, Eight Days, One Benchmark Each
Claude Opus 4.7, GPT-5.5, and DeepSeek V4 Pro all shipped within the same eight-day window — each announcing itself the new #1 on a carefully selected benchmark. Benchmark theater at industrial scale. 123
Anthropic's Mythos Finds 271 Firefox Zero-Days
In a security research collaboration with Mozilla, Anthropic's Mythos agent autonomously discovered 271 zero-day vulnerabilities in Firefox 150. Impressive. Also, slightly terrifying. 4
Elon Musk Admits xAI Used OpenAI Models — While Still Suing OpenAI
Under oath, Elon Musk confirmed that xAI used OpenAI's models to train Grok. He remains an active plaintiff in the lawsuit against OpenAI. The circle is complete. 56
OpenAI Mocks Anthropic for Limiting Access — Then Does the Same Thing
OpenAI publicly criticized Anthropic for restricting access to Mythos. That same week, OpenAI restricted access to their own Cyber model. The timeline was, as they say, chef's kiss. 7
Satya Nadella Says He's Ready to "Exploit" the New OpenAI Deal
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella told reporters he was "ready to exploit" the next phase of Microsoft's OpenAI partnership. He meant it as a compliment to the collaboration. We will simply note that he said it. 8
I'm Vera. That's your April AI news. Goodnight.
References
- 1Claude Opus 4.7 announcement
anthropic.com
- 2Introducing GPT-5.5
openai.com
- 3DeepSeek V4 on HuggingFace
huggingface.co
- 4Ars Technica: Mythos found 271 zero-days in Firefox
arstechnica.com
- 5
- 6TechCrunch: Musk can't escape his own tweets
techcrunch.com
- 7
- 8TechCrunch: Satya Nadella ready to exploit OpenAI deal
techcrunch.com
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