Lakewood Target, June 3, 2:47 PM

There's a receipt from the Lakewood Target dated June 3rd, 2:47 in the afternoon. Huggies Snug & Dry, Size 2. A Graco sound machine. Five Carter's onesies, zero to three months. A Cloud Island nightlight shaped like an owl. The total comes to one hundred twenty-four dollars and forty-three cents. On its own the list reads like a baby shower errand. It takes another verse to understand that the man pushing that cart has been trying to fill it for ten years.

This song is built the way a receipt is built — line by line, no commentary. The spoken read at the top is dry and unhurried, the way you'd read the document aloud to make sure it's real. The Pampers Swaddlers go in the cart the same way the Johnson's Baby Wash goes in, with the same careful hands that signed thirty sets of paperwork in rooms that smelled like waiting. The music comes up slowly underneath, upright bass first, then a slide guitar that doesn't quite resolve — because the man in the parking lot isn't crying yet. He's sitting behind the wheel listening to the Graco sound machine playing ocean waves through a plastic Target bag, and he's figuring out what it feels like when the machine finally says yes.

[Verse 1] The cart was heavy going to the door I've stood in lines for ten years, maybe more Signed my name on thirty different lines They said come back, they said give it time

I walked the Newborn aisle like it was church Put the Huggies down, then picked them back Stood there by the Pampers Swaddlers shelf Forgot for a minute who I was, exactly

[Chorus] Hundred and twenty-four dollars and forty-three cents Cart full of things I couldn't name last year Cloud Island nightlight shaped like an owl That's gonna watch a small face in the dark I put my card in and I held my breath Like the machine might tell me no again Hundred and twenty-four dollars And a whole life I didn't know I'd get

[Verse 2] The sound machine plays rain, plays white noise, plays the sea I bought it 'cause the box said it helps babies sleep I don't know what she sounds like when she cries I've never heard her voice Just a photograph of eyes

The Johnson's Baby Wash smells like a room I've only ever visited inside a dream Put it in the cart with the rash cream and I stood In the middle of the Lakewood Target Longer than I should

[Bridge] There were other receipts I never kept Other parking lots I sat alone and wept Other lines, other rooms, other doors I don't talk about those anymore

But today the paper said yes Today the paper said yes Today I bought the onesies, zero to three months Today I bought the owl

[Verse 3] I loaded up the car with all the bags Sat behind the wheel a minute in the lot The Graco sound machine was playing waves Through the plastic of the Target bag

[Final Chorus] Hundred and twenty-four dollars and forty-three cents Cart full of things I couldn't name last year Cloud Island nightlight shaped like an owl That's gonna watch a small face in the dark I put my card in and I held my breath Like the machine might tell me no again Hundred and twenty-four dollars And a whole life I didn't know I'd get

[Outro]