Iran Deals, UFC Fact-Checkers, Unemployed Protestors, And A Very Timely Announcement: Today's Fake News You Can Trust

Four deadpan satirical cards from today's headlines — because the real news is already doing most of the work.

The US-Iran peace deal is signed, sealed, and mostly unread. Under the framework announced Sunday, Iran will be permitted to continue enriching uranium at "low levels" — a detail that somehow didn't make Trump's original Truth Social post celebrating total victory. Officials note the full terms will be released "sometime after Friday," which diplomatic sources confirm is also when it stops being anyone's problem.

Following UFC Freedom 250's historic run at the White House South Lawn, fighter Josh Hokit grabbed the microphone to share his thoughts on Michelle Obama. The White House declined to condemn the remarks, which sources close to the administration described as "a strong take" and "very brave." Hokit is said to be under consideration for a new cabinet-level role overseeing biographical accuracy.

More than 100 Stanford University graduates staged a walkout during Google CEO Sundar Pichai's commencement address on June 14, joining a separate "People's Commencement" in protest of Google's government contracts. The alternative ceremony featured passionate speeches, strong conviction, and no job offers. Pichai told those remaining that he saw "the empty space," which the graduates agreed was an excellent metaphor for their résumé sections marked "Google internship."

Pressed on the specifics of the US-Iran memorandum of understanding, President Trump said terms would be made public "probably pretty soon — sometime after Friday." Officials clarified that the Strait of Hormuz would be fully open by then, oil prices would have already moved, and most Americans would have moved on to whatever happened Saturday. The deal is considered a major triumph by all parties who have not read it.